The Ark and The Dove

The Choir Show

At my local parish, Mass pretty much always runs about one hour and fifteen minutes.
By my calculations, we could shave off at least fifteen minutes if we cut out choir performances. The choir could only sing for as long as it took for the priest to reach his chair, purify the vessels*, or do whatever else he had to do. We could also recite the Gloria rather than sing it (which would also probably increase the number of people praising God).

*Why do we talk about purifying the vessels when he wipes them down? It makes it sound as if containing the Body of Christ makes them impure

Out of Sight, Out of my Mind

Sometimes I think that my news-reading habits and my idle hobbies create some kind of perverse cycle.
The more I read the news, the more depressed I get. The more depressed I get, the more I goof off to take my mind off of the news. The more I goof off, the more guilty I feel. The guiltier I feel, the more I read the news to at least bear some kind of intellectual solidarity with those who are oppressed in the world...which makes me more depressed...and so on and so on...

Gearing Up

Downloading random .pdfs from Early English Books Online has got to be the early modernist's academic equivalent to level grinding on World of Warcraft.

I'm like a level 217 Orc Bibliographer now.

Damned if He Does; Damned if He Doesn't...

Drudge linked to an article on an investigation into a possible miracle at St. Mary's in Annapolis.

A woman undergoing treatment for terminal cancer became cancer free and has stayed so for several scans. She apparently had been praying to Blessed Francis X. Seelos, an apparently cheery immigrant who was ordained and died of yellow fever while administering to the sick.

The Baltimore Sun article to which Drudge linked spends quite a bit of time trying to explain the process of canonization for its general readership. It's important to keep in mind that the cure is under investigation -- it may well be determined that the treatment she was receiving was itself sufficient to explain her cure.

Then, you get to the comments section below the article. Ouch...(more below)

Seeing is NOT Believing (Again...)

Here's an optical illusion that will totally mess with your head.

Obama Demands Optimus Prime Resign Command of Autobots

When Autobot commander Optimus Prime agreed to assist the top secret U.S. military department, Sector Seven, in exchange for material resources and fuel, he might not have read the fine print.

It turns out that federal aid to the stranded Autobots included some demanding stipulations, such as the requirement that all Autobots transform into GM vehicles, and that at least 30% of Autobot car modes go hybrid by 2015. Perhaps more significant, however, were requirements to restructure the Autobot chain of command.

Because the Autobots are now considered military-operated GM products, President Obama has insisted that Optimus Prime relinquish his position as their head.

"The Autobots were inefficient and unpopular under the old guard," White House spokesperson Gibbs announced. "Optimus Prime was clearly running them into the ground, and the president found it was time for new management."

As the new commander-in-chief of the Autobot team, President Obama has promised to take a new approach to relations with Decepticon.

"Optimus Prime was, frankly, an embarassment with his cowboy, John Wayne approach to settling disagreements with robotic fists and firepower," Obama said earlier today to thundering applause. "As Obamus Prime, I promise to renew peaceful negotiations with Decepticons, so that we might reach a mutually beneficial future despite our minor differences in worldviews. I am certain that we have much more in common with the Decepticons than we have hitherto realized."

Pro-Choice = Pro-Racist

Or, at least, that's what it looks like in the recently released transcripts of Pres. Richard Nixon:

Nixon worried that greater access to abortions would foster “permissiveness,” and said that “it breaks the family.” But he also saw a need for abortion in some cases, such as interracial pregnancies.

“There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white,” he told an aide, before adding: “Or a rape.”

The president sets up the classic pro-choice argument: he saw abortion as a necessary evil. It was something that he saw as inherently harmful to society, but he wasn't going to get in the way of people getting out of tragic situations, like, you know, interbreeding.

It's almost as if Nixon would have thought Obama should have been aborted...

Drudge has linked to an article on the release.

The PC Guy Scores Big Points

I just watched the Youtube video of John Hodgman's address to Obama at the Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner.

It's a pretty awesome speech, even if (like me) you are not a fan of Obama. It's also a bit uncannily prescient at moments.

America -- #@$%!?!? YEAH!

I watched Team America again last night.

It's definitely one of those movies that I don't feel comfortable recommending to people. It's crude; it's crass; and it's pretty much offensive to any sense of decency.

That being said, it is perhaps one of the greatest works of satire ever made, and I am confident it will be studied alongside Gulliver's Travels in the distant future.

It also seems uncannily relevant today. North Korea is in fact lobbing nuclear devices around like water balloons. Al Qaeda has announced it will be more than happy to take any nuclear weapons it can get its hands on.

Even more unsettling is the way in which the horribly-acronymed Film Actors Guild seems to have in fact won with the election of Obama. There was a now-chilling moment in the movie where one of the protagonistic puppets declares that you can't end terrorism by sitting down and talking with the terrorists. We've elected a president to do just that -- and it's turning out not to be working all that well.

Using Team America's allegory for personality types, it's extremely clear which of the three types of people Obama is...and the results are discouraging for me.

For instance, I feel utterly confused by Obama's stance on the recent riots in Iran. Hopefully, he is only saying that we are keeping our nose out of it. I'm no political scientist, but a pro-democratic riot is exactly the kind of thing our nose should be in. Granted, we haven't always backed the right horse in these kinds of situations. Marjane Satrapi, in her graphic novel Persepolis, argues that the current Iranian regime is largely the result of Western powers backing a monarchical revolution rather than backing the more socialist freedom fighters. Of course, who is to say that Iran would really be that better off or that much more free if the socialists had prevented the current day theocracy?

It is, however, encouraging to see Iranians fighting back against their oppressive government, and I hope they know how many American people are with them in spirit even if our government will not be with them in action.